Galion's OCD
by Neril
Summary: A one-shot on Galion, the OCD elf. What happens when a certain wizard comes to visit, little!Legolas has nightmares, and someone leaves dirty rags laying out and wine glass un-even? Now read the horror that ensues!


**Galion's OCD**

"GALION!"

Galion jerked up from where he was arranging the M&Ms in perfect order. "Yes, Thranduil?" he asked, hurrying to his king's side.

"Where is my wine?!"

"One moment," Galion replied. He turned and hurried out to the wine cellar. On the way there, he noticed a crooked picture on the wall. He stopped and straightened it. Then he shook his head, and changed it just the slightest.

"Galion!"

Galion jumped. "I'm going, I'm going!"

He ran down to the wine cellar, where a tray with a pitcher on it sat with two cups beside it. They were uneven, so Galion fixed them. He picked up the tray; as he did so, he noticed the dusty smudge on the edge.

"Not again," he muttered. He set the tray down, and picked up a rag. It was dirty. "Can someone please wash the laundry?" he asked no one in particular.

"Don't you always do that?" a random elf asked from somewhere.

Galion sighed, and went to the laundry room with the rag. Once again, he would have to wash the rag. Why did no one else bother to do these things? How could they stand it? He would never understand. After washing and drying the laundry, he neatly folded it and placed it in nice stacks.

"There," he said, standing back to admire his work.

"Galion!"

Galion jumped and turned to see Thranduil stomping fabulously toward him. "Where is my wine!?"

"Oh, sorry, I will get it right away."

"You had better!" Thranduil growled.

Galion hurried off to where he had left the tray with wine, he noticed it still had a smudge. He looked around until he found a clean rag (all the others were still in the dirty clothes), and wiped off the smudge. He then folded the rag, and placed it in the dirty clothes hamper. Satisfied with his work, he picked up the tray and headed up toward the King's throne room.

"It's about time," Thranduil said. "I have a visitor." He waved his hand to someone a few feet away.

Galion turned to greet him. "Radagast – oH MY GOODNESS!"

"What is it?" the wizard gasped.

"You must be given a bath, I cannot imagine what terrible tragedy has befallen you! Spider attack? Orc attack?! WERE YOU ATTACKED BY SAURON HIMSELF?"

Radagast looked down at himself. "I always look like this."

But Galion wasn't paying attention to him, he pulled a baby wipe package from his pocket, and ran up to the deranged wizard. "First," Galion said. "The bird poop. Do you know how many diseases that carries? Oh, it is horrible. Almost a whole human village died because of it."

"Wh –"

"Galion! Stop it!"

Galion jerked his hand away from the wizard, and turned to face Thranduil. "Yes?"

"Leave him alone!"

"If you say so, Thrandy."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing!"'

"Go get me more wine," the King commanded. "I will be needing it."

Galion reached over and swiped the bird poop of Radagast's face and hair.

"GALION!"

Galion jumped and ran off, leaving behind a frustrated Thranduil.

A bird went over and pooped on Radagast.

"Have you seen my Ada?" little Legolas asked, looking up at him with his blue/brown eyes as Galion ran down the hall.

"No, I most certainly have not!" Galion snapped.

"Sorry, you don't have to get mad about it."

"It's not you," Galion muttered. "Legolas, why is your hair messed up?"

"What? It is?"

"Yes," Galion replied. "Now go brush it, don't you remember what I taught you?"

"Yes, of course. Always have perfect hair."

"No that – oh, never mind. Close enough." Galion waved a hand at him, then started running again.

-.-

Galion flopped over on his rocking chair in his room, at last! At last he was in a place that was nice and neat, and clean. He sighed and leaned back, taking in a deep breath of the pine-scented cleaner that filled his room.

"GALION!"

Galion screamed and jumped six feet in the air, hitting his head on the ceiling. He groaned as he stood, after falling to the floor. He should have known that would happen. It did almost every night.

He glanced down at his watch, it was one fifty-five in the morning, and he had just finished cleaning the wine glasses. What now? He jerked the door open, and looked around. No one was there, so he slammed the door shut. Why did he have to be the one to be pranked? He had to get up at five in the morning!

No sooner had he sat back down, when there was a pounding at the door.

He got up and opened it. No one. He growled and was about to shut it, when he heard his voice.

"Galion."

Galion looked around, where was it coming from?

"I'm down here."

Galion looked down to see little Legolas, "Oh," he said. No wonder he hadn't seen anyone.

"I'm scared," Legolas said. "I had a scary dream, then when I got up, a monster started chasing me!" Legolas started crying.

"Oh, come on," Galion said, stepping aside to let the little elfling in.

Legolas ran in and jumped on Galion's bed, "WHEEE!" he yelled, as he started jumping up and down.

"No, no," Galion said. "You are wrinkling the blanket!"

Legolas plopped down and dangled his legs over the side of the bed. "Can you tell me a story?"

"No."

"Please?"

"Okay, okay, fine," Galion agreed.

He sat down on his rocking chair, and leaned back. As soon as he did so, Legolas ran up and climbed up on his lap, grinning up at him.

"What story do you want to hear?"

"Any," Legolas replied, leaning back against Galion's chest, his blond hair sticking up in his face. Galion tried to smooth it out, but failed miserably.

"Okay, let's see, well...okay, I got it. Once upon a time, not so long ago, there was a really messy kitchen. Now, it was bad, I mean really bad. Flour was on the counter, dirty dishes in the sink, pies were on a table, and very uneven! Oh, and the worst part, well, one of the worst, was the cook had stuff on the front of his apron! It was horrendous! Well, anyway, there was this poor, mistreated elf who went into this kitchen, like he did a lot of the time. When he saw this mess, he almost died, it was so bad! So, anyway, he got to work. First he made the cook go take a bath, then he cleaned the flour, and made the pies even, then he –" He stopped and looked down at Legolas.

He was sound asleep.

"I'll tell you the rest later," Galion promised. He lifted little Legolas and carried him to the bed, gently setting him down. He pulled the wrinkled blanket over him, then tried to smooth out the wrinkles. Legolas mumbled something in his sleep, and rolled over.

Once again, Galion had to smooth it out again. After about five minutes, it was almost good enough.

Walking over to his chair, he collapsed on it, and fell fast asleep.

-.-

 _Dirty wine glasses, uneven plates, bowls of different sizes, flowers that did not match up right. Galion groaned, NO! How could this be happening to him! It was his worst nightmare! Then Radagast walked in, bird poop all in his hair. NOOOO-_

-.-

"– OOOOOO!"

"Galion!"

Galion shot up, the bright sun rays hitting him in the face.

"Galion!" Legolas exclaimed, shaking his arm. "Did you have a bad dream?"

"Yes," Galion whispered.

"Well, Nana used to say when you have a bad dream to go eat ice cream."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Um...uh...well. YES!"

Galion shook his head. "I don't think so."

"Well, Ada drinks wine."

"Yes, I know that," Galion said. Remembering all the nights he had to rush wine to Thranduil, and always at the most inconvenient times too!

"I think I will have some tea," Galion muttered, standing up. He stretched his arms, and yawned, then he noticed the bed. He just blinked at first, then walked over and started fixing the blanket that was halfway off the bed.

"I can do that," Legolas said, climbing up on the bed. He grabbed a corner of the blanket and dragged it across the bed.

"No, no," Galion said. "It goes over there."

"Oh," Legolas said, turning and going where Galion had pointed.

"Yes, better," Galion praised.

"All done!" Legolas announced as they finished.

"Yes, at last!"

Legolas bounced up to the door, and jumped up to grab the handle. He missed. About two feet.

"I'll get it," Galion said, opening the door.

"Thank you!" Legolas exclaimed, then bounded out into the hall.

-.-

"There," Galion said, standing back to admire his work.

All the wine glasses had been shined, and put in a straight even line. Some random elf walked up and grabbed one of the glasses.

"NO!" Galion exclaimed snatching it back. "If you take that, then there isn't a even number!"

The elf gave him a confused look, then shrugged and walked away. Galion set it back up on the shelf, and let out a sigh.

"There," he said. "All better!"

"GALION!"

Galion headed toward the yelling.

"There you are," Thranduil said. "Have you seen Legolas in the last two days?"

"Yes," Galion replied. "I have."

"Oh, okay, that's good. I was afraid I was going to have to have a funeral party."

Galion blinked, and was about to walk away, when he noticed the King's cloak was un-even. He reached out to straighten it.

"What are you doing?" Thranduil asked.

"Your cape is un-even," Galion replied. "It needs fixed."

"It's a new style," Thranduil said.

"Really? Oh, well, I hate it."

Thranduil was about to say something, when Feren came running up. "My Lord!" he gasped out. "A pack of orcs have crossed out borders!"

"How many are there?"

"Twenty-one."

"TWENTY-ONE!" Galion exclaimed.

"Don't worry," Thranduil said, patting him on the shoulder. "It's not that many."

"But it's an uneven number!"

-.-

Galion noticed the very dirty Radagast standing at a window, looking out at the river.

"Are you going to take a shower?" Galion asked, he was getting very disgusted with the wizard.

"No," Radagast replied, not turning. "It would mess it up."

"Mess what up?"

Radagast shrugged. "Don't know."

Galion rolled his eyes, then an idea popped into his head. He snuck up behind Radagast, and grabbed his feet, jerking him up over and out the window. He was still holding onto his feet, when he noticed a sword on the wall was not straight.

Leaning over he tried to make it even with one hand. It didn't work. He strained, trying harder. Finally, he just used both hands.

As soon as he did so, he heard screaming.

"Hmm, what was that?" He mused. He shrugged, then walked off, stopping to make a painting straight on the wall, then a sword, then some other weird-shaped thing.

"Oh no," Galion gasped, running up to a statue. It was _very_ crooked. He grabbed it, and tried to make it look better, then there was a soft snap.

"Oh, elf," Galion muttered, he looked down to see the base of the statue broken. "Why do they have to make things like this?!"

He picked it up, and carried it to a nearby trash can, and threw it away. "There! All better! Wait! That sign looks a little off!"

-.-

"Galion. What are you doing?" Thranduil asked.

"Making the wine glasses even," he replied.

Thranduil made a sound, very un-elven-like, and leaned back against his throne. Legolas came running in.

"Can I have ice cream?"

"Sure," Thranduil replied, with a wave of his hand.

"Thanks, Ada!"

"Sure, sure. RADAGAST! What happen to you?"

A dripping wet Radagast walked into the room. "Something snuck up on me, and pushed me out a window."

"Hmm, strange," Thrandiul said. "We must solve this case! GALION!"

"I have to go now," Galion said, slowly backing away.

"Galion, come back here!" Thranduil commanded him.

"Only if he takes a bath!" Galion said, motioning to Radagast.

"But I just got pushed in the river," Radagast said.

"That wasn't a bath, and you got all muddy."

"Galion, you will help solve the case!" Thranduil said, starting to get excited for this new adventure.

"Um...only if he takes a bath," then Galion turned and ran.

"GALION!"

Galion turned down a hall, and stopped when he saw THREE elves talking together, scattered about. Galion shook his head. "They never learn."

 **Thank you for reading, and please review! A free trip to visit Galion for all reviewers!  
**


End file.
